Bratwursts, JA

Earlier this week production lines slowed to intermittent and unpredictable spurts. I feared the worst: workers were simply unmotivated. I decided to switch the worker’s diet to bratwurst covered in Frank’s Red Hot; while morale was boosted, production resulted in simply increasing the frequency in which the previous problems of intermittent and unpredictable spurts occurred, not to mention the spurts transformed into molotov-cocktail-like bursts. My new “brat-burst” business innovation also resulted in an extreme overaccumulation of capital in the distribution center. Marx said that when an overaccumulation of capital occurs, the capitalist—in order to keep products from becoming devalued—seeks to expand and invest productive capacity and capital circulation onto previously uncultivated (and easily exploitable) “foreign” territory. In other words, I’m expanding my production line into the university library’s handicapped distribution center; I predict I’ll be able to make drastic budget cuts (I’ll no longer have to pay for paper or clean-up!), while being able to make use of some free, hands-on advertising and publicity stunts to draw attention to my product. Good PR!